If Johnny is vague, or doesn't provide good examples or reasons, it is harder for Ken to understand him.Both may then become defensive, and stop listening to each other.Johnny, though his body language, voice, and eye contact should pay attention to what Ken is saying, and give positive reinforcement to any helpful gesture he makes.
Hey Ken, why does your friend have to stay here all the time?
Hey Ken, can we talk about your friend spending nights here and how it's affecting me?
Johnny shrugs and does not listen or accept that Ken is trying. First of all, it is good to recognize that Ken has done two things: He has acknowledged that he changed the subject.
Secondly he elaborates on what is bothering him (lack of sleep and poor performance on studies).
Yeah I changed my mind, he stays too often and I don't like it!
Johnny should push Ken for reminding Johnny he was OK with it.
The conflict discussed in the case is not uncommon in a research organization.
Often such conflicts remain unresolved, creating adverse organizational effects.
The first answer is best: Johnny first acknowledges that he has changed his view, and has then given a specific example as to how this is affecting him.
He is trying to help Ken understand his point of view. It is also important to have the goal of a compromise in mind.