College Admissions Essay Example

College Admissions Essay Example-12
If you take apart the essay sentence by sentence, you'll notice a huge variety in sentence length and structure.

If you take apart the essay sentence by sentence, you'll notice a huge variety in sentence length and structure.

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The quality of the writing in this essay is superb, and it is even more impressive because Carrie is going into the sciences, not the humanities where we might expect to see stronger writing.

The essay has no grammatical errors, and some of the short, punchy phrases reveal a high level of rhetorical sophistication.

I was drawn to this dark subject matter of environmental crisis, not to wallow in it or savor the Schadenfreude, but to change it and make the world a better place.

Writing about identity or diversity for the Common Application essay presents a writer with specific challenges. It clearly captures the subject of the essay — approaching Goth with an open mind.

Carrie clearly shows how she will add an interesting and desirable element to the campus community.

The essay demonstrates that she has thought about identity and diversity, that she is open-minded, and that she has a thing or two to teach others about their preconceptions and biases.

When I sat down to write this essay, I tried, as my high school English teacher always instructed, to imagine the audience for my writing.

The more I thought about it, the more I pitied the college admissions screeners who would be reading a thousand essays on diversity.

In broader terms, however, all college admissions essays must accomplish a specific task: the admissions folks will be looking not just for good writing skills, but also evidence that the writer has the intellectual curiosity, open-mindedness, and strength of character necessary to be a contributing and successful member of the campus community. Also, the allusion to John Lennon's "Give Peace a Chance" is appropriate given the song's message about acceptance and understanding.

It's not a title that is highly original, and it isn't the best hook for grabbing the reader's attention, but it is still a solid title.

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